Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Musharraf's Wisdom

Musharraf has had unbridled power in Pakistan for nearly eight years. To the best of my knowledge no one has so far bothered to collate some of his notable utterances. To make up for this deficiency I have attempted to make a start.

I will set up a small-sized federal cabinet headed by myself – Nov 1999

Comment: As of April 2006 we have a federal cabinet of 61 (including ministers of state) - the largest in Paki stan’s history.

I think now, frankly, Osama bin Laden is dead - Jan 2002

Comment: So we now seem to have his perfect double that keeps sending videos to Al-Jazeera threatening murderous doom to all the Bushites in this world.

My brothers and sisters I want to assure you that this Presidential referendum will be free, fair and transparent - In an address to the nation on 29 April 2002

Comment: The only thing ‘free, fair and transparent’ about the preposterous referendum was the money the crowds were given to watch Musharraf don strange looking turbans and other peculiar head apparel in the belief they enhanced his appeal.

There is no corruption at the top of my government - June 2003

Comment: Now which government could he possibly be alluding to?

The allegations that Taliban or Al Qaeda elements are reuniting in Pakistan are lies - Dec. 2003.

Comment: The man obviously doesn’t regard FATA (Waziristan, etc) as part of Pakistan.

Defence Housing Authorities are the top residential societies which are contributing to the country’s development, so why should ‘pseudo intellectuals’ keep questioning military’s involvement? – August 2004

Comment: The military is the largest real estate agent in Pakistan – can’t think of any other country in the world where the military plays a remotely similar role.

I emphatically deny that either the Pakistani civilian governments or the Pakistan military had any knowledge of Dr Khan’s operations. I personally knew nothing, nothing absolutely, about what was going on - Dec 2004

Comment: Read my blog Messrs.Dr. No and Dr. Khan & The little matter of North Korea

Army is in the barracks and have no role in politics. It is the prime minister and his cabinet who run the affairs of the country - April 2005

Comment: Isn’t it time Shaukat Aziz was made aware of this as well?

Sharon is a bold man, a great soldier, a courageous leader – May 2005

Comment: While trying to please Bush the man takes leaves of his senses by confessing admiration for the coldblooded swine who, among other things, arranged for their Phalangist mercenaries to massacre 3500 innocent civilians unarmed men, women and children in the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps.

The current local government system is not simply ‘my’ system; it belongs to the people of Pakistan - July 2005

Comment: Yup, as all elections so far have been rigged, his logic suggests the failure in leadership has to be "the damn fool public’s" fault

I personally ordered a travel ban on Mukhtar Mai from travelling to the United States because she would bad-mouth Pakistan - June 2005

Comment: I wonder which law our law-abiding leader invoked to legalise the travel ban? Could it have been a borrowing from an ancient Mughal law of imperial tantrum?

I have decided that I will remove my uniform by December 2004 and relinquish the office of the Chief of the Army Staff- In an address to the nation on 24 Dec. 2003

Comment: Nothing needs to be added here.

Al-Qaeda does not exist in Pakistan any more - July 2005

Comment: All the foreign militants the Pakistanis soldiers having been chasing and getting killed by in Waziristan were simply figments of their imagination.

Leave the developing world aside; I think we are better than all of them. Bring the developed world and let us compare Pakistan's record, under me, a uniformed man, with many of the developed countries. I challenge that we will be better off. -
12 Sept. 2005

Comment: What planet is the man living on? Today Pakistan is often being compared to sub-Saharan African countries.

This has become a moneymaking concern. A lot of people say if you want to go abroad and get a visa for Canada or citizenship and be a millionaire, get yourself raped - 12 Sept. 2005

Comment: The guy deserves the misogynist jerk of the year award for this statement.

Stunned by the reaction to his comments on women 'queuing to get raped', Musharraf went on record and emphatically denied making them by
saying:"Let me say with total sincerity that I never said that, and it has been misquoted. These are not my words, and I would go to the extent of saying I am not so silly and stupid to make comments of this sort.

Comment : I pass it over to the Washington Post Editorial staff who threw back his very words at him - i.e. for being ‘silly and stupid enough to make comments of this sort’ . The newspaper then placed a damning Internet video recording of Musharraf in which he is seen uttering the very words he had so vigorously denied as saying, thus proving him to be a complete liar.

Let me tell you, the people of Punjab will topple any government which tries to shelve the Kalabagh dam after it has started – Dec. 2005 (Contributed by a reader

Comment: Thanks for reminding us just who really matters in Pakistan.

Consensus or no consensus, the Kalabagh dam will go ahead – Dec 2005

Comment: Musharraf, a month later: ‘Public opinion…is not fully on board. I respect this public opinion’. I wonder what happened to the resolute determination he so adamantly displayed a month earlier?

Unlike previous leaders I have courage to face problems squarely – Dec 2005

Comment: If he is so courageous then why hasn't he fulfilled his constitutional commitment as 'President' to address the joint assembly of parliament for the past number of years?

Every soldier in the Pakistan Army is on my side - April 2006

Comment: An absolute raving miracle! Not even the greatly celebrated commanders in history who actually won battles – such as Alexander, Julius Caesar, Genghis Khan and Napoleon – could lay claim to such incredible devotion. Musharraf's claim to be able to walk on water can’t be that far away.


Anonymous said...

I'd add this one to ur list.

“Let me tell you, the people of Punjab will topple any government which tries to shelve this project after it has started,” he added.

I still can't believe he said that...

Redcell said...

But all said and done, he is one person the world can do business with.

Onlooker said...

Red cell

You said that Musharraf ‘is one person the world can do business with’.

Ummm…by the ‘world’ I assume you mean the USA.

From a Pakistani perspective the ‘world’ looks kind of different. Thanks to US billions the anti-Soviet Afghanistan Jihad took place and we got blessed with Jihadis, the Al-Qaeda and a revitalised and well-funded Pakistan army.

Because of the Afghanistan war Pakistan got swamped with millions of automatic weapons, drugs and lawlessness. The country has been bleeding ever since, we suffered immensely; thousands of innocents died and are still dying.

Then we had 9/11 and instead of attacking and destroying Al-Qaeda the US decided to invade Iraq. To deal with Al-Qaeda the US rehabilitated the previously reviled General Musharraf and made him their proxy local ‘hero’.

So now the ‘world’ decides that Musharraf is a man it can to business with, simply because of its previous inaction and flawed behaviour.

The US is currently led by a frenzied idiot, but at least he is an idiot that the Americans democratically chose to be led by. Why can’t the Pakistani decide whom they wished to be ruled by?

Is it too much to ask?

Mansoor said...

But all said and done, he is one person the world can do business with.

Yeah, as far as the privatization business is concerned, the world has got this secret. That's why they have struck the right deals for PTCL, Steel Mills and Fertilizer mills.

Ehsan said...

Wonderful idea! Here's another one you can add to the list(Thanks to Irfan Husain column in Dawn):
“If it’s a fa├žade of democracy you want, I’ll give it to you!”

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